THE TWO TEMPLE PLACE WORKSHOP: I am very excited to be meeting Lara tomorrow with my violinist husband Jan and discussing all the details as well as hopefully being able to draw Lara while she’s testing the movement routine. I still need to figure out how to display the drawings, the lamp now being out of the picture as it is hanging at the Good Rice. I am however considering hanging the pregnant postpartum belly lamp as that actually fits the theme much better. I also have Lara’s voice recording of her experience and I am absolutely in love with everything she is saying, I can totally relate to her experience and feel even more honoured now to be working with her, now that I got closer to not the brilliant artist side of her but also to the real, honest human being, opening up and talking about her experiences, difficulties, worries, but also revealing incredible strength that she discovered thanks to motherhood.
Absolutely incredible experience during my second day of the workshops. WOnderful conversations with visitors, people who got involved in the drawing process as well as conversations about wanting to dance and being moved by Jan’s beautiful solo violin playing. I felt worried about being a good “provider” of information but also not wanting to be too invasive in case someone just wanted to be left alone. I also felt I should have been the artist drawing in the corner so that people could witness the whole experience, not just the performance of the dancer and the violinist. But once I broke through the fear of walking up to people and talking to them, it felt quite ease and natural and I was happy to notice that the 2 people who attended were really genuinely enjoing themselves, because they stayed until the end of the session, watching the repeating performance at least 4-5 times.
2nd day was even better with 6 people attending, this time more creative and really decisive when it came to drawing. I really loved everyone sitting on the pillows on the floor, surrounded by tracing paper and markers, asking me for more supplies, reacting to the performance with such a huge variety of drawing styles and really combining what they were seeing with what they felt when withnessing the performance. The most incredible conversation, which made me think: “this is the main reason I wanted to do this workshop” was one young woman’s reaction to this snippet from the Lara Turk’s – dancer’s monologue about postpartum ” My body didn’t feel like a dancers body, or look like a dancer’s body. I felt so many miles away from that identity. I didn’t know how I was going to get back, but I had to get back. I’m a dancer. I’m an actress. I need to emote, to embody. I crave the hyperfocus of a performance. The complete presence of that lived moment in live performance. Sometimes I wonder if my children will think my choice to keep dancing is selfish. I hope not. Mothers work, women have careers, my work means so much to me, I’m so proud of it. It’s governed nearly all of my life choices ot date. I hope I teach my children passion, dedication, sacrifice, focus. When people ask me: ‘Aren’t you worried about the time you’re missing out with them? They grow up so fast. Aren’t you worried about missing that?’ No one asks my husband that. As if that guilt should fall only on mothers.” After listening to this the lady said: “I don’t have children, but in China, my home country, so many women give up their careers to care for their children and their home, they later push their children so hard to fulfill their own dreams they gave up. I don’t think this is good. I think if I ever have children I would like to raise them watching me pursue my passion, my career. I think that owuld be better for them.” I have tears in my eyes even just writing this, I relate so much, I relate to Lara’s words, her passion, her “desperation” to keep pursuing, not just selfishly for ourselves, but as mothers, this almost feels like a responsibility, something our children must witness in order to thrive themselves as adults. I am so extremely grateful for this workshop experience, to Adam and Natasha, and to the entire Two Temple Place team. To my husband for playing the violin so beautifully and improvising so openly with Lara. To my mum and my brother who came especially from Poland to come and film it. And to all the wonderful women who came and experienced it and hopefully got something good out of it for themselves, maybe a feeling they’re not alone, that there are more of us creative mums out there, doing everything possible to combine mother-artist life.
WHAT WORKED: The large short throw projector was fantastic and really visible on Lara’s black clothes. The attendees noticed and enjoyed watching movement on top of movement. Same with the pregnant torso and ribbons hanging of it. they loved the colours and enjoyed that it was turning and the colours of fold dance clothes resonated well as well as colourful stitching, to me symbolising both my experiences during the births of mychildren, but trying to show it in a lighter, rainbow coloured way. DIDN’T WORK: The recording should not be happening during the performance as it was quite disruptive as well as some people did not like being filmed. But the chaos of the situation meant I forgot to control the film crew better. NEXT TIME: only film before the first attendants show up. WHAT I LEARNED: I am not sure if when doing these in the future I should do them for everyone or maybe for post partum/pregnant/back to work women only as I feel that it resonates the most with them.
