LAMP – PREGNANT BELLY, FRIDGE PAINTING ON THE INSIDE OF THE DOOR
It was great to have a crit with the two Ben’s, Felicity and Rachel. It was not at all what I expected it to be. The main thing I got from it, based on my own crit, was that, out of all of us, I was the most critical when talking about myself and my work. I used words like “should” or “not good enough” and generally presented myself as someone, who does not have a lot of faith in her work. I found it quite difficult to talk about the meaning behind it, even though I do truly believe in the context I am creating my work in. I showed about 6-7 different works because I was mostly unsure what direction to go technique-wise, so there was my “perfectionist” more graphic and tedious oil, acrylic and posca marker painting, there were 2 pencil sketches on canvas boards, which I have covered in Liquitex glossy medium and planning to add acrylic paint to, there were some fridge doors, which I have used to draw on in acrylic markers and oil pastels, with signs of ageing and rust poking through the drawings, as well as two other fridge doors because I wanted to show the interior side of them, which was great to hear from the guys that actually I might try and paint on the other side as well to try and see if they could become these painted sculptures.
I generally liked that the guys didn’t pick “one thing” like I asked them to, but instead they said all pieces look great together and tell a cohesive story and they don’t interfere with one another so I should just continue doing all of them simultaneously. I guess my worry would be that if I do them all at once I will not be able to “perfect” one really well. But then getting away from reaching perfection is why I went on this course in the first place.
Last but not least was the paper “lamp” made from posca marker drawings on technical paper, which I then shaped by making them wet and placing on my kids gym ball. I then used rainbow colour ribbons to connect them at the top but left the ribbons long and hanging from the bottom. I connected the ribbons with the lamp using same coloured embroidery thread as I kinda wanted it to look like one of those colourful easter ornaments or painted eggs families traditionally make and place in baskets in Poland when going to church to get their easter baskets “blessed” with holy water. I loved when Felicity noticed that the ribbons reminded her of gymnasts ribbons attached to sticks and that she would like to see the lamp and ribbons moving, like dancing, like some sort of movement. And that was exactly what I was thinking about and discussing with Jonathan for my Workshop at Two Temple Place and was going to drop the idea as I worried there is nowhere to hang it. So now I am thinking I should definitely find a way to hang in from the chandelier in the middle of the room. Next to the dancer, who will be absolutely incredible and I am now even more excited about this workshop than I was before. Felicity also mentioned it reminded her of a pregnancy bump, and I did pick this particular shape because I feel it is more female than any other shape I could imagine. I also mentioned “if it doesn’t work as art, I can always hang it in my kids room as a lamp” and I think subconciously I felt they would appreciate it the most, as it is bright and colourful and happy and I just thought that on one hand I’m fighting this artist – mother – invisible concept but on the other I feel that it is the children and their love of anything spontaneous: drawing, dancing, laughing, playing that triggered my “inner child” to try end enjoy all these things again. Because I remember I used to love all this and feel all this and then, as I became an adult, worked in fast fashion, became a responsible parent, I gradually lost it. It dissapeared. And I’m desperate to find it…
